We went to the mall today, shopping for Christmas presents.
Now, I'm not going to get into ragging on the season right now. It has good things,
it has bad things, whatever. I'm not going to get into them right now. What's bugging
me right now is...well, the people at the mall. Ye gods. The people who work in
Those Stores (You know the ones I'm talking about: The Bonmarche, the Gap, etc.)
and the people who shop in Those Stores make me want to scream sometimes.
They're so fucking careful and so fucking fake. The women who work in the
Bonmarche all look to me as if they're made of plastic. I can imagine them going home
from this overly-polite job to a completely false existence. And I'm not talking American-Beauty-
I'm talking these people don't even see that their lives are fake. If they run out of some
obscure color of Mary Kay lipstick, it is as real to them as September 11.
Alright, maybe that's a little extreme, but I'm trying to make a point.
I don't know...maybe everybody's lives are like that. Maybe you can't really care about
anything beyond your immediate life. Hell, maybe I'm like that.
I hope not. I don't want to be plastic.
Heehee! Austin just finished watching Trigun. Now he wants an evil twin brother.
Monday, December 17, 2001
Crying over spilt finals
I'm having an awful day.
I just took my Introduction to Motion Pictures final, and you know what?
I drew a blank on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ANSWER.
I labored over every question that damn thing for an hour before I had to go...I was the last one out of the class, and on top of it all, I turned bright red and blinked back tears in front of my film teacher. He's a really nice guy though...he understood, I think.
Luckily I managed to make it back to the dorms before I started bawling too bad.
And then you know what?
Everyone just told me it would be ok, like they expected that to help. It's not that I think it WON'T be ok...I know this isn't going to ruin my life, and I know I'm not going to agonize over this forever, but for right now I just...I just liked that class a lot and I wanted to do really good in it. I tried so hard, and I blew it.
I'm just really, really disappointed with myself I guess.
And I want to find Chipmunk and talk to her, because I think she'll understand better than everybody else, but she's not here...maybe I'll go to my Spot in Grandview.
And I still have to finish my paper...and study for writing...
Can't I do anything right?
I'm going to go cry some more now, and then I'll probably feel better.
Thursday, December 06, 2001
You know what?
I swore this wouldn't happen again.
I swore to a bunch of people.
I guess I'm a failure.
Tuesday, December 04, 2001
I got the archives to work!
Oh yeah! Who rocks? I rock.
I wore my faerie wings so I could be a snow faerie today! And it's snowing!
Anyway, I have to find someone who can rent videos, because I need to rent
"The Usual Suspects" for my film class so I can write my paper on it...That's
kind of important.
We're planning on playing D&D tonight, so that means we'll be commandeering
the TV room again...we have to get down there before anyone else though,
otherwise they won't let us use it.
People get cranky when we steal the TV room, but it has the best couches.
No, I don't really have anything "worthwhile," or "productive," or even "interesting."
to say. Fine, I'll go. Fine, be that way. Fine!
You think you can do better, punk?
I just finished my Philosophy final, so I don't have any more finals until Thursday! Woo!
Well, except I have a paper due then, so I'll need to work on that, and study terminology.
And on Friday I have a writing final, and I need to write out my essay beforehand so I
know what I'm going to say...
I think I did OK on my Philosophy final...I guess I won't know for awhile...
I'll study/write/whatnot some more tonight, then study more tomorrow,
and then work on Christmas presents! I'm nearly done, but...not quite.
But now I think I'm going to go take a nap.
Or play Daggerfall :)
I made a Dark Elf, and she kicks arse!
Monday, December 03, 2001
Sick (of finals?)
Drank a buncha NyQuil last night, and today I'm feeling nauseus (no, I don't care
how it's spelled). Not sure if that's from being sick, or nerves about upcoming
Erk. Nausea SUCKS.
I took my photography final already, and I think I actually kick arse on it! Or at least
Well, time to go study some more...
I DON'T FEEEEEEL GOOOOD!
Next week is finals, so today's a homework day. And a book day, because I want to work on my
book. But I'm not going to work on it until I get my homework done. In fact, I'm not going to touch
any poetry until all my homework is finished. *snicker* No, really. I'm serious.
*Runs off, laughs hysterically* *comes back*
And in related news: I have a donut.
GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!
Saturday, December 01, 2001
Oooh, I like muchly this blog:
in the photobooth
I wish she had an e-mail so I could e-mail her a hug...
I want heading title things