New Hair Color!

My hair's reddish-brown now!
I miss being pink....but this isn't too bad. I just feel so....normal. It's weird. Gaaah.
Argh! Stupid template, being stupid!

~LemonKitty~
Meow!
Wednesday, April 30, 2003


nerdslut
Nerdslut


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla



So very broke...

Well, I'm paying rent this month, which leaves me with about $100.00 in checking and $100.00 in savings...That really, really sucks. I still need to buy a math book (which I'm expecting to be a LOT), in order to get a job I need to get some hair dye, I owe Chris some money (which he says I don't have to pay back, but I feel like I should), and...well, I'm just friggin' POOR. So I'm probably going to get hair dye today, and start applying places. Damn...I'm going to miss the pink though. Oh, and Roman: Turning down a girl trying to be nice and give you a ride? What's wrong with you?? :P

~LemonKitty~
I know, I know...all I do is whine. :P


Sunshine

Well, the picture on the webcam was actually taken a few days ago, but I thought it was cool, so I put it up. We were letting Balthamos run around in the yard, and this bird lands right by him and starts checking him out, like "What's this little creature?" It was pretty cool, and we were lucky we'd just gotten the camera out, because the bird didn't stay long. Chris and I have been listening to a book on tape that we got from the library ("Contact" by Carl Sagan), and it's pretty good. It's the perfect thing for doing color homework, because painting for that class can get somewhat monotonous.
I'm feeling a LOT better than I was yesterday...I think the sunshine is helping cheer me up, so that's good, but it also just helps when I just get shit like that out of my system. I don't know. Chris was pretty upset yesterday (completely my fault, though I'm not going to go into details). Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm a fairly screwed up individual sometimes, and also knows that I don't like to talk about it too much. Anyway, things are better today, so that's good.
I have a quiz in fiction today, which is ok, but I'm behind in the reading, so I'm going to go outside and read in the sunshine, and let Balthamos run around some more.

~LemonKitty~
Yay! Sun!





Tuesday, April 29, 2003


Stuffness

Well, just so you know, the rat now has a name...it's Balthamos, from The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman. Thought you'd like to know. We're calling him Bal for short, and he's still a total sweetie.

~LemonKitty~
Homework now...
Monday, April 28, 2003


Actually...

Actually, let's delete that last post. I have enough problems already without adding to things by having people read that.
I'm tired. I couldn't sleep, for various reasons, and ended up getting a whole 3 hours. Then I got up and wrote this huge long rant, which I just deleted. Hooray for being unproductive. I'm going to make some coffee now.

~LemonKitty~
Stupid, stupid girl. Why did you ever think to post that?


Impulsive decisions!

Well, we have a new baby! It's a sweet little boy rat who we have yet to find a name for. Current possibilities include:

Eiri (from Serial Experiments: Lain)
Balthamos (from The Amber Spyglass)
Saint Lucius (just sounds cool)
Lazarus (see above)
The Archangel Gabriel, Seraphim of the first order, guardian of the light of the Lord and bringer of His wrath upon the sinful. (because it's long and cool and SMITEFUL)
Winston
Simon
Link

...aaaaand that's all for right now. If you guys can think of any, stick them on the tagboard, ok? The only bad thing is...well first of all, he's a boy rat, and this is the first boy rat I've had, so the huge, dangling testicles are kind of unnerving. The thing I'm really worried about though is that he's really really mellow. Maybe he's just a little slow in the head, or maybe we're too used to the gerbil's psychotic jumpy movements, but we're worried he might be sick. He's eating ok, he just seems really sluggish...the petco people said it might be a little bit of shock (he was returned by someone else the day before we got him, so they might have tried to use him as a feeder rat or something), so we're going to give him a few days to adjust...He's such a sweetie, I really don't want him to die...
Anyway, that's about it...Chris is leaving for Eugene tonight, so I have to be all alone :( but it's ok, because I have homework (ACK! HOMEWORK!) and pets. Warm, fuzzy, snuggley wonderful sweet pets.

~LemonKitty~
Yeah, I know, I'm insane.
Sunday, April 27, 2003


Potato

I decided the last cam pic was awful, so I changed it to the current art project I'm working on...nice, eh? The whole thing's much nicer...I did a good job on the shading on her dress.
Chris and I just did some meager shopping so we could eat, and now both of our wallets are as empty as George Bush's skull and Dick Cheney's conscience combined. Ouch, I know. Long story short...Stephanie: I don't think I'll make it to the concert tomorrow strictly on lack of funds...if there's some way I can get in with you, that'd be cool. I'd really love to go and hang out with you guys. Turns out Chris's parents are picking him up Sunday, but he's not the most social person, so I don't think he's interested. We'll see how it goes, yes? Call me tomorrow sometime and we'll work everything out. :)

~LemonKitty~
To the world in general: I hate being poor.
Friday, April 25, 2003


Ick

I really need to re-dye my hair.

~LemonKitty~
Since I'm looking for a job...maybe a natural red?...hmm...


Off to Salem

Well, we're off to Salem today, which worries me a bit because I don't trust my car at ALL. Also, our house is looking GREAT. I mean, it's still filthy because it still needs most of the minor organizing done, but I really like how it's laid out right now. The only thing is that we need to get a longer phone cord so Chris can use the internet, but he can probably get one in Eugene this weekend. As soon as we have the house decently clean, I'll post pictures. We even have a spot for the birdcage now, so I might scrounge up some money to get finches!
Argh. Money. That's the biggest problem right now. Chris just paid tuition, so he's dry, and I'm paying rent this month to help out...only my account's low too. I need a job. Mom and dad have offered to help with money (which is very, VERY nice of them), but I'd feel bad asking for too much a month, so if we want to eat....yes, I need a job. Mom said there might be an Americorps branch out here too, so that's another option...but they usually don't recruit until around August.

~LemonKitty~
Please, no more food service jobs....please, please, please. Retail! Let me get a retail job! Please!!!


More cleaning

Besides cleaning our house, it is definitely time for me to clean off my hard drive.It's completely gunked up with games, photoshop pictures (damn you, .PSDs, and your huge file sizes!), Mp3s, random anime episodes, and Domo kun clips.

~LemonKitty~
I have too much shit.
Thursday, April 24, 2003


Free day!

Well, the teacher for color class didn't show up, so we got a free day! Yay! I'm planning to get a LOT of cleaning done, and maybe re-arrange some furniture...not the most exciting thing, I know, but it's time for a change, and it'll feel good. I talked to Chris about maybe staying home from Eugene this weekend, and he seemed...well, ok with it I guess, though I know he really wants me to go with him, but if I stay I can see Jessi, see Stephanie's bf's band, and catch up on all my homework (I'm going to try to re-do my first 2 color assignments...and math....eck). Anyway, Chris is at class now and we'll probably talk some more when he gets back.
What else? Hmmm....
The picture I'm working on is coming along REALLY well....I'm doing it in photoshop using only the pen tool, and it's awesome. I never liked the pen tool that much, except when I needed an exact line, but it's really giving me some cool effects to work with. Anyway, I'll post it here when it's done...keep in mind that it's not ALL me, that I'm using the pen tool over an existing picture, but I'm definitely stylizing it. Well, you'll see. I'll post the picture I started with, too. Might even get it done this weekend!
Well, that's all for now...

~LemonKitty~
MEKARA BIMU!


So damn bored...

Well, I have about half of my color homework done, after almost 3 hours of work. Fuck. The problem is that it's so boring to sit there and pain the SAME shape in the SAME colors over and over and over. So I'm taking a break. Oooh! I just remembered I have a book on tape from the library! Well, that'll make painting a little more interesting.
Argh. What I'm really worried about is math...makes me wince just thinking about it.

~LemonKitty~
Work again soon, but...Mmmm...breaks are nice...
Wednesday, April 23, 2003


I love my teapot!

Just thought you'd all like to know that my teapot is BADASS. It's yellow, and it's the BEST TEAPOT IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I LOVE YOU, TEAPOT!!!!
Yes, I know, I'm insane and materialistic.
Anyway, color homework's going to SUCK...but I have to go work on it anyway.

Ta!
~LemonKitty~
Chris is cute!


Argh.

Just noticed that I used the word "Fuuuuuuuuuuck" twice in the last post. Hope I'm not turning into some degenerate who can't use english properly.

~LemonKitty~
"Me fail english? That's unpossible!" -Ralph
Tuesday, April 22, 2003


Wheeewwww...

Well, got the house clean in time for mom's arrival (though she didn't stay very long). We had fun...went out to lunch, walked around, and talked. It was good to see her again...I miss her hugs :) She left for Bend about an hour ago, so now it's time for me to freak out about my homework.
FIRST of all, let me just say that this damn color class was NOT my idea...I was strapped for credits and signing up for anything I could get. Second of all, this class has a friggin' LOT of homework, which is what I'm stressing about right now. This teacher must think we have NO lives at all.
I missed Thursday, and it turns out our motif project is due THIS Thursday...and I haven't even started on it. Fuuuuuuuck.
Also I got a shitty grade on my last project because I didn't cover it with tracing paper (which I didn't even know about) and it was messy. Supposedly we can re-do them though....Fuuuuuuuuuck. I know i'm going to fail this class. The project I turned in today was sloppy too....I'm just a sloppy person...it's SO hard for me to keep everything clean and neat and orderly...ARGH.
I'm going to flunk
I'm going to flunk
I'm going to flunk

NO! Must...work...hard...I guess this means I'm ditching fiction tonight to work on Color homework.

~LemonKitty~
That's ok. Fiction's a breeze, and I've read most of the stories already.


Can't miss the bus!

Can't miss the bus!
Can't miss the bus!
Can't miss the bus!
Can't miss the bus!
Can't miss the bus!
So much to do!

~LemonKitty~
More later! ARGH!


Super Mega Cleaning Day

Well, mom's coming to visit tomorrow, so besides finishing up my color homework, Chris and I have to clean house...We're thinking about rearranging everything too, but one thing at a time. Right now I'm in my Graphic Arts for Writers class, and I'm trying to figure out what I should do with one of my projects, since it's in photoshop and not the program we were SUPPOSED to use...oh well. And I didn't find any fliers to bring in, but hopefully that's ok.

La dee da. Time to go check on my country.

~LemonKitty~
Monday, April 21, 2003


Restless

Can't concentrate on anything...everything's gone wrong today.
No, that's an exaggeration. I've just been so...discontent today. With everything, really. I'm working on homework, and it's the last thing I want to be doing. My head hurts like a herd of zebras just ran through it, and we're out of Ibuprofin, so I'm drinking water. I'm feeling unattractive, which isn't helped by the fact that sex lately has been either interrupted or non-existant. I'm looking at some fabulous art online, which also isn't helping my self-esteem at all either...

Why am I so unhappy with everything today?

Yesterday was gorgeous...just lounged around in the sun reading and feeling this deep sense of content and happiness, and today everything's just...bleeeeeh.
Whatever. Words aren't helping me either. Just read this over and it doesn't really describe how I'm feeling, so why bother whining more?

~LemonKitty~
How do you explain what isn't even clear in your OWN head? Argh.
Sunday, April 20, 2003


So...mucking...sleepy

Roman's over, but we're not playing UT, everyone's just kind of doing their own thing, which is cool. I like that we can all hang out like this. My hands feel funny, and I'm trying to figure out whether that's lack of sleep, or what. I think it is, because they were doing this the other day, too. I didn't get as much done today as I would have liked...wanted to play outside, too. It was deceptively bright and sunny, but SOOOO COLD. I'm completely useless when I'm cold...I just curl up and whimper.
When we went to Rice 'n' Spice earlier, we got four things: Hello Panda (which I'd had before, but Chris hadn't), Calpico Soda (strawberry), Ramune soda, and these strawberry-chocolate things that don't have any discernable english name.
The Hello Panda is good...they're cookies filled with soft chocolate, and quite tasty, but nothing really unusual.
The Calpico soda was good, too...we were wary of it, because it claims to be a "fermented milk soft drink" which we think is a translation error...the ingredients list the milk part as "dry milk (treated with a lactic acid culture)" so the translation probably had something to do with that. Anyway, it's quite good...tastes like a normal strawberry soda, but creamier. Very nice.
Next on the list is Ramune soda, which I am now in love with because
A. They taste good, and
B. The have fun bottles!
The stopper is essentially a marble that you push into the bottle in order to drink out of it. The soda itself tastes...interesting. It reminded Chris and me of Bicardi Silver, minus the alcohol. Sort of. Good. Very good. I will be buying this drink often, I know.
The last thing we tried were these weird chocolate-strawberry things, which I really liked, but Chris wan't so hot on. They tasted like...well, they were chocolate and strawberry, what more can I say? Apparently they were made by Meiji, the same company that made Hello Panda. Good times.
Anyway, it's 3:30 in the fucking morning. Thought you'd all like to know.
I've been kind of snappy today...Chris keeps getting frustrated at things, and yelling at them, which makes me frustrated because half the time it's not really a big deal and I think he should be more patient...but I know that's hard for him sometimes, and I shouldn't get annoyed...but that's hard sometimes, too. Ah, well.
I think we're going to try to clean tonight...sometime. Whee! Insanity!
Gah, I'm so tired already...not sure how long I'll last.

~LemonKitty~
My fingers feel FUNNYYYYYYY!
Saturday, April 19, 2003


YAY!

We just went to Rice 'n' Spice! Now we have snacks and tasty drinks! HOORAY!

~LemonKitty~
Ramune Soda is sooooooo good!
Friday, April 18, 2003


Nerg.

So much to doooo!
I think I might not sleep tonight...and I just got up. Coffee! Where's my coffee??

~LemonKitty~
So...mucking...FLAKY today....


Ditching

Well, I ditched class because I like sleep too much...silly, I know. I'm going to go work on homework after this post though, so I won't be in TOO much trouble.
Anyway, I found this page, which is good fun. My nation is called Cthulaintha, and Chris's is Weaselasia, and we're located in a region called The Happy Land of Pudding. Woo! I'm an Empress! ph34r m3!

Anyway, it is now time to do homework. And clean. Ye gods, our house is messy.

~LemonKitty~
We have chocolate bunnies! Courtesy of Chris's parents.
Thursday, April 17, 2003


By the way

Man, I hate it when people call things "gay"...it's just ignorant and lame.

~LemonKitty~
Stupid chat people. Get a bigger vocabulary.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003


No class today!

Yep, no class today (unless you count Math Lab, and I still haven't got all that crap figured out...so confusing!). Got an e-mail from mom which was spiffy and...well, today's just off to a good start. The weather's nice, and things are just good. I'm going to clean and do laundry today, but I think I'm going to go outside, sit in the sun, and draw first. It's so nice out!
Roman and Kami came over and played Unreal with us last night, which was fun...It's fun teaching Kami how to play.
One thing I HAVE to do today is go get Chris's present...his birthday was yesterday, and I just didn't have time to go get it...He says he doesn't care (He doesn't even like his birthday, especially the attention it forces on him), but I still want to do something for him, or I'll feel like the world's worst girlfriend.

~LemonKitty~
Time to go outside and do stuff!


Yarg

Feeling extra spacey, ever since I got home. I'm supposed to be reading my homework for Fiction, but I just don't feel like it.
Had some fun conversations in color...one with Asia (spelling?) about Christianity (though I tried not to rant too much because I didn't want to offend her), one with the guy down the table from me about religion some more (apparently he's read "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" too, so that was cool) and also one with Stephanie about sexuality, which was really cool. Come to think of it, I didn't do shit in color ^_^ ...but of course, classes like that are the most fun.

Still feeling spacey...Yiiii! I have to read my homework! It's 6:15 already! Class at 7! o_O

~LemonKitty~
Crapcrapcrap
Tuesday, April 15, 2003


Maus

I read Art Spiegelman's Maus today, for the first time. I found it at the library and remembered a friend telling me about it years ago, so I checked it out. I read it and loved it...it's such an incredibly well-presented story, and it's...it's just wonderful, in a horribly sad and painful way, but wonderful. Go buy it or read it or something.
Afterwards I was just thinking about how sad the world can be sometimes (Neil Gaiman's stuff does this to me too). The Chris came home and I sort of put it all out of my head and did homework for awhile, and then Chris cooked some clam chowder and I went to make some toast.
Now this bread we have isn't even a week old and it's got mold growing all over the bottom and sides already...and I mean, we JUST bought this bread! We got the cheap kind, because we're poor college students, and we can do that, but still, it shouldn't be moldy already. It pisses me off.
So here I am, going through this bag of moldy bread and trying to salvage some of it so I can make toast, and *BAM*: I look down at the trash can, and think "If I were in Auschwitz this would have fed me for a week."
...
It just hit me, like that, and I felt like the biggest fucking ingrate in the whole world. I know that I probably waste less than the "average American," but it made me think of how much we DO waste, how much we AREN'T grateful for...when we have so much. I felt like a big fucking waste, and I just started crying uncontrollably...Then Chris came in and gave me a hug, and then I stopped and he went and read his book again.
And now I'm sitting here, feeling like shit and eating toast.

I have homework to do. I don't want to. It feels like the smallest thing in the world right now.

~LemonKitty~
...and so do I, but I'm almost used to that.


Rice, spice, stuff.

Wasted a large chunk of today by sleeping in, but it was ok. Chris and I did some cleaning (not much though ^_^; ), and then played Warcraft 3. The Roman came over and we went to Rice 'n' Spice, which is the local Oriental foods store.
Man, I have waaaayyyy too much fun at Rice 'n' Spice. They have so much cool stuff there...it's just crazy. Not to mention it's where Chris got me my badass teapot (that's yellow! It's yellow!!! YELLOW!!!!). I was hoping they'd have green tea pocky, but they didn't (I don't think it's really one of the "popular" flavors), so we ended up getting "Milk Pocky," a can of "Hawaii Kona Blended Coffee With Milk" and some "Sweet Potato Chips" ("Calbee sweet potato are healthy snacks brimming with the fruits of nature"). My favorite things was the chips, although the Pocky's great too. The coffee frankly sucked. It was super watery and just nasty. Next time we're going to try either this green tea drink or this other one that...well, I'm not sure what it is. It kind of looks like seltzer water, but I'm not sure.
Rice 'n' Spice is also the best place in Corvallis to get potstickers. They have the chicken kind (which are the BEST) and they're fairly cheap. They also have all kinds of cool frozen dumpling-things, but we didn't get any of those this time (although we have before).
This cool girl I met in my color class called and wanted to see if we wanted to hang out, so we'll probably go over there later...
That's all for now, folks.

~LemonKitty~
My heeeeaaaddd huuuurrrttsss....(I'm such a whiner)
Saturday, April 12, 2003


Erg

Well, Chris and I managed to stay up for well over 24 hours...about 31 for me, 32 for Chris. I crashed while Chris was at class, then he came home and went to sleep too. I'm eating potstickers for breakfast. I'm sure you all care.
On another note, we've been having all kinds of weird bug shit going on. First, our house was invaded by ants, which meant we couldn't leave ANYTHING sweet out (as we found after we left out a bunch of bicardi. It's really not fun to wake up hungover and find that swarms of ants have invaded your kitchen.) Also, a few days ago, Chris found a cockroach in our bathtub and proceeded to drown it to death, but it succeeded in making us both nervous whenever we take showers. And now there's this giant hornet in our house. Out, bugs, out!

~LemonKitty~
Still groggy from lack of sleep.
Friday, April 11, 2003


Aww man...
WHY is my stupid template thingy screwing up? Why, why, WHY?
*beats template senseless*

~LemonKitty~
Bad template! BAD! NO BISCUIT!
Thursday, April 10, 2003


Sleep deprivation!

Chris and I have decided to stay up all night...this of course means that some straaange things will probably be coming your way around 4 or 5 in the morning, courtesy of my sleep-deprived madness. Beware. Beware, I say!
Already I bring you the infamous ATTACK OF THE SHEEP PUPPET CAM! Raarrrrrrr!
Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic. We have coffee! DEATH COFFEE!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! It's like a suicide bomber-induced explosion of caffeine RIGHT IN YOUR MOUTH!

~Miss Lemon~
Tastes like shit though.


Mock Stupid People

Check it out, my bitches. Time for Internet Moron Bingo!
I know I'm probably guilty of some of these, but that doesn't mean I can't make fun of other people!

~Miss Lemon~
Courtesy of me and mine :D

Wednesday, April 09, 2003


Graphic Arts for Writers
This seems like a cool class so far....now I just have to go buy books.
Also: Website looks mahvelous in 800x600. I rock!
~Miss Lemon~
Wheeeha.
Monday, April 07, 2003


LB again

*Nervous* I'm at LBCC for a graphic arts class...hope I'm in the right room though...I think I am, but I'm a little early and no one's here yet. Oh well, I'm always jumpy on the first day of class. Except it's not the first day. Well, it is for me. Argh.

Jumpy.
~Miss Lemon~
*Please be the right room...*


MUAHAHA!

I like Gabriel Knight too much. And Morrowwind. I spend WAY too much time on Morrowwind. Perhaps you'd like to see my house? Note: this is actually Nerano Manor. One of the earlier thieves guild quests in the game requires you to steal a key from the guy who owns this place. I ended up getting annoyed with just attempting to pickpocket him, and killed him instead. Since Nerano was then empty, I ended up using it to store items, etc. that I didn't want to carry around with me. Over time, I "decorated" it, because I'm a geek with no life. Hey, it was someting to do. Note however, that ALL these items, except the people (of course) were placed by me IN THE GAME. No editor, no nothing. I jumped on the tables or ran around and DROPPED THINGS UNTIL IT LOOKED PRETTY. See? I told you I had no life. Needless to say, my character is frighteningly powerful (Go me!) but I haven't had the attention span to complete the main quest yet...I just like wandering around and doing side quests. Although I did go visit Dagoth Ur in his happy little stronghold, and he told me to go away. Nice hat, jackass.
More pictures from "LemonKitty's House of Earthly Delights":
The entryway
Pretty lights! PRETTY!
Check out the eats!
There's also the topless Khajiit from the Suran House of Earthly Delights, and Ra Gruz'gob (or whatever his name is--I can't keep the Orcs straight--the guy who thinks he's a Khajiit) Because he amused me.
Vivec, hanging out by the skooma.
Silly Vivec. Moon sugar is for Khajiit!
Jewels, skulls, skooma.
With more of the Suran dancing girls.
Me standing on a statue of Vivec, because I could.
Take THAT!

Yes, Morrowwind's cool. But Gabriel Knight kicks ass. Jane Jensen kicks ass. Millenium Rising was a BADASS book, and Gabriel Knight 3 was just...awesome. They make fun of the French and find out that Jesus had super powers. And kids! Also, there's vampires. It should have sold better. Anyway, Chris and I got our hands on a copy of GK1 and were playing it, but it keeps crashing at a certain point, so we can't beat it. DAMN YOU GABRIEL KNIGHT!!! WHY YOU SPURN MY LOVE???!!!

~Miss Lemon~
Grace kicks ass too. Gabe, you're a total jackass sometimes.
Sunday, April 06, 2003


Foo.

Gah. Need a job.
Why is so much required to become a substitute librarian??? WHYYYY?? I would LOVE to be a librarian...you don't have to deal with people (too much), you just get to muck around with books all day...and it pays well! Nice, cushy job!!!
Dream job is still something with computers, comic books or writing, but this is a close...um...fourth? Fourth. Certainly would be an AWESOME college job, but it requires an MLA. What the hell?

~Miss Lemon~
You need a Masters to shelve books...ok, the system's screwed up.
Saturday, April 05, 2003


Whee!

Today is a good day. I'm feeling so much better than I was last night, largely due to Chris. He's so good at cheering me up! I love him so much!
We went and picked up some groceries at WinCo (a very impulsive shopping trip, but we got something from each food group to make sure we're eating ok).
Me: Ramen's good, right?
Chris: Eh?
Me: Well, they're noodles so they're in the bread group. So ramen's healthy.
Chris: Yeah, you know how healthy MSG is.

We also got...GUMMI SHARKS! (Which are a fruit, of course).

Ph34r m3!

Wheeeeeeeee! I like to play with my food!!! ^_^ Get that scuba diver! GRR! RIP OUT HIS LIVER! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

~Miss Lemon~
Hard to believe I'm almost 20, isn't it?
Friday, April 04, 2003


All pretty much better

Chris got home early (a Very Good Thing) and cheered me up...
I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!

~Miss Lemon~
Not that I really deserve someone as great as him, but we won't get into that right now.
Thursday, April 03, 2003


GRRRRRRR!!

Sorry for more depressing posts. Yes, I know, I whine too much and it's stupid. Shush.
Chris is at class, and I'm CRANKY. Sooooooooo damn cranky. Why am I cranky?
Wellllll....I can't explain that directly, because people I know read this (rarely, but sometimes). But it's also my little spot to rant, so rant I shall. We'll pretend it's smoking. --it's not; I don't smoke-- but it's easy for people to relate to, and it's strangely similar in that:
A. It's bad for me.
B. It's addictive in a weird kind of way.
and C. It hurts people around me.

Here is my situation: any time I feel like *ahem*"smoking," Chris locks up the "cigarettes" with which I smoke. He puts them in the file cabinet and takes the keys with him when he goes to class. This is good, for the aforementioned reasons. Right now, however, it's making me SOOOOO damn cranky because I WANT TO. I want to SO badly. I even know where there's a "cigarette"...I found it when I was going through a box--but I CAN'T. It makes me feel like some stupid little protected child, and I HATE IT! I should be able to do it if I want to! I should be able to STOP if I want to!
So I'm angry at myself for being WEAK and SELFISH, and I'm angry at Chris for locking the damn things up, and I'm just ANRGY AT EVERYONE!!!! AAAAARGH!!!

Rational Voice: Maybe you should try going to counselling again.
Lemon: MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING IT UP THE ASS, BITCH! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Sorry, everyone....just...so angry.

~Miss Lemon~
Yeah...that was my attempt at a calm post. Nice try there, Lemon


Hmmm...

Well, turns out the class was cancelled, but no big deal--I got into another one, and in the meantime we're going to try to find two more people for that class...maybe if we get a couple more people to sign up they'll un-cancel it. That'd be cool.

In other news, I'm working on the comic. Really. (*giggles*) No, seriously, I promise. It should be up soon (*snicker*). Really you guys, it'll be up any day now. (*bursts out laughing*)

~Miss Lemon~
I crack me up.


Wheeeeeha.

Well, after all my bus mishaps, I'm FINALLY here at LBCC. I'm a little worried because when I looked up my classes today, this one wasn't listed. Not just for me, but it wasn't listed at all. They can't have cancelled it at such short notice though. even if they didn't get enough people. I hope it's just a computer screw-up and I'm still registered. Oh well. I need to talk to the admissions people today anyway. Ack. And buy books. I don't know WHERE to buy books though ^_^;;
I'm sooo very lost at this campus. And of course since it's Spring term, everyone else knows where they're going by now.
Still time before class starts (if it does). I think I'll go read comics.

~Miss Lemon~
Mmmmm....fast connection, I LOVE you!!!!


Mucking Early

Mr. Coffee is my friend. Mr. Early Morning Class is not.
Blog more later. Gaaaaah.

~Miss Lemon~


Stupid people

Yes, I know all my blogs have been depressing lately, but bear with me.
Missed the bus AGAIN today because THEY MOVED THE BUS STOP AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL ANYONE. Chris and I waited in the rain for about fifteen minutes. We finally went down to city hall and asked if they'd moved and the woman said that, oh yes, they'd moved the bus station to right behind city hall. A block away. Did they change the maps? No. The dial-in information system? No. They didn't bother to tell anyone.
And now I get to talk to my mom again and explain why I lost three credits due to my own stupidity.

~Miss Lemon~
Really looking forward to that!
*Sarcasm*
Wednesday, April 02, 2003


Quickie

Da.Ru isn't working. Still.
That sucks because now I have to use the tripod address. Ick.

~Miss Lemon~
I want a domain name!


Nyarg.

Just feel...useless today.
Got happily distracted for awhile by the gerbil, which was good. Haven't felt like eating today, but Chris forced me to eat a couple of potstickers, which was good, I suppose. I still feel just...useless though. It's been so long since I did anything productive, I mean really productive. I need a job. But people...make me nervous. What a great candidate I am, yes?
I made some pictures. This one's a night sky pic, and this one's a nature spirit of some sort, which I rather like. I made a purple version for mom, even though I'm still pretty annoyed at her. Oh well. It happens.
The problem is, I doubt if I'm ever going to do anything with my pictures. I mean, I still don't consider myself an artist. I'm a writer, with maybe a little art stuff on the side. Writing's an art too, of course, but you know what I mean. Maybe that's why I want to do a comic so badly...I love that comics combine art and a story. I just think they're an awesome medium. And since a lot of my drawings have a more "cartoon-y" than realistic feel to them, I tend to be pulled in that direction anyway.
But come on, be realistic. No one's going to pay me to do a comic. Most writers can barely even make it, and I'm sure comic book writers have an even rougher time at it, unless they're writing something with an already well-established fan base, like X-men or something. I don't know how well Piro of MegaTokyo is doing since he quit his job and just started doing the comic, but he already had an exceptional fan base, and I know he's plugging MT for all it's worth--not that that's a bad thing--it is a great comic (though at times I miss Largo's hardcore g4/\/\3r influence, but I have PA for that.). But no one, NO ONE is ever going to pay me to make a comic. So do I try to get by on my questionable skills as a writer/artist anyway? I'm really not that great at either of those, though I can fake it sometimes. Or do I whore myself out and gor for a degree in marketing or webdesign, two things I could conceivably do very well with, but would probably hate and despise?
I wish I could figure it out. I wish I could make a decision about something, but I can't. I can't even go out and find a temporary job. I'm such a fucking flake. I'm a fucking waste of this beautiful world.

Yes I know, angst, angst, depression, whining, etc. Go me.

~Miss Lemon~
Sorry, everyone. I'll be quiet now.
Gah, I'm such a whiner.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003


Maybe we should stop giving her cardboard...

Hey kids! It's time to play Find The Gerbil!

~Miss Lemon~
Awww, she's so cuuuute.
Lemon Kitty at 2:00:00 PM


 

 
 

Cam pops up.

Feeling: Cranky.
Eating: Scone thing.
Reading: "God-Emperor of Dune" by Frank Herbert
Listening to: My Digital Illustration teacher (Mr. Thompson)
Playing: Nothing
Arch-nemesis: Mornings
Currently Preferring: Computers over PEOPLE.
craving: Salad & Coffee




Fight Club
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