Ok, Tripod has decided to let me update, after I just sent a message to the Tripod people saying I couldn't.
Of course.

I'm going outside now!
Saturday, May 31, 2003

Today we're cleaning house (or attempting to), so this will be a short post...we haven't gotten much done yet, because nicer things like sunshine and Neverwinter keep distracting us...it's a very laid-back sort of day. Very nice.

Anyway, I fiddled with the art page, though there's still not much up yet...that will be remedied, I promise. Also I stuck a chatterbox there so you guys can leave art-specific comments, if you want. Fun times.

I guess the only real news is that I happen to be somewhat concerned about a friend who's seemed rather down lately...not sure what to do about it, really, since things between us are a little...careful right now. He seems to be under the impression that no one likes him, which is bullshit, since he knows what I think about him (he says the only reason Chris and I like him is because we don't hang out with enough other people...once again, bullshit). He's a good person, and he should know that, and if I pick on him too much, well, he knows the reason for that too, I think.

Let's see...writing should be up soon, too, not that anyone will want to read it (probably). They're mostly crappy old poems and things like that, since I lost most of my badass stories last year when my old computer kicked the bucket. I'm also going to put some random stuff on the features page, because I can.


01010111011010000110010101100101011001010010000100100000010000 10011010010110111001100001011100100111100100100001

Ok, the buttons now work, though the art page needs a little tinkering with...when I drop my resolution too 800x600 the page is a bit wide. Also, I'm going to post more content in each of the pages before monday, which is when I present this whole deal to my class...so keep the chatterboxes clean until then, ok? Or I can just delete your post if you write something I don't want my graphic arts class to see. Whatever.

So goth you're dead!
You are every goth-kids dream!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Mwaha. I'm changing everything. Go me.
Don't click any links yet, because nothing works.

Soooo much work. Gah.
Friday, May 30, 2003


Well, if I thought I had money problems before, I'm really, really fucked now.
As some of you may (or may not) know, a few weeks ago I had to go the hospital, because I'm stupid as hell. Anyway, the days passed and lo, we received a bill. This bill was something I couldn't afford (I can juuuuust barely pay my share of next month's rent, if you must know, and this bill is just slightly more than our rent is). So, I called my mom (NOT a pleasant conversation. "Hi mom! I need about $350!"). After much emotional stuff, Mom said she'd see what she could do to help. This was painful enough, since I really dislike accepting things from people...I don't know why, it just makes me uncomfortable. I like to get things for people, and not recieve (does that make sense?). Anyway, that was taken care of...I figured I'd probably have to pay half of the bill at least, which was going to be a stretch anyway.

Well, apparently this is "Let's screw Katie over" week (like we didn't know that already? Consequently though, every shitty thing that's happened this week has been my fault in one way or another, so I should probably quit whining, but it's my blog, and that's what it's for). Today I received yet another bill in the mail, this one for Five fucking hundred and sixty nine dollars. Scared out of my mind I called the hospital and asked if there was some mistake, only to be told that the first bill was to pay the doctor who attended me (who was a jackass, by the way) and the second bill is for "supplies and use of the emergency room."

Supplies? Supplies??? They used about two inches of string! And some band-aids! What the fuck is WRONG with these people???

Long story short, I need a job more than ever.

Still debating whether or not to call mom again.
Thursday, May 29, 2003


Well, for some reason Tripod is being crazy, so it's now posting a cam picture that I saved over and therefore should no longer exist. Very odd.

In other news, new site design is coming along nicely (Booya!). It's practically all I've worked on today, which is -get this- ok because it's my homework. I'm justified in tinkering with it all frickin' day. I love it.

Stupid Tripod...*grumble*
Wednesday, May 28, 2003


You are Trinity-
You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Agent Smith are you?

By Madeline Elster

Oh, also I'm re-designing the site... o_O
Stay tuned, yo.



That's all for now...oh, and I'm stupid.
Monday, May 26, 2003


I'm stupid!

That's all for now. damnit, I could be at a party. But instead I'm at home, being stupid.


Well, went to a spiffy party on Friday (thanks Stephanie!!!). It was really cool...I had some of these strawberry-daquiri flavored drinks and then I tried some weed, which I've never done before, but I think I inhaled too much or something, because it really really burned my lungs, and I started coughing, and threw up, and decided to go home early...but other than that I wasn't too messed up, and when I woke up my lungs and throat were pretty much ok. I met a lot of cool people, and had a really good time...I'd like to go to the party tonight, but I still don't know what's going on with Eugene, because we haven't been able to get ahold of my mom...argh. And Chris is really stressing out about it, which is stressing me out. Anyway.

I should work on homework...HA! Yeah right!
Sunday, May 25, 2003


Well, I skipped color class today...Chris and I stayed up all night, which was fun, and I'm in such a FABULOUS mood this morningthat I just want to run around and enjoy life instead of being in class...we aren't really doing anything that important today anyway, I don't think. I'll e-mail the teacher anyway.
I'm just so happy that I'm in this wonderful mood...everything seems great, you know? I know sometimes you can get in a slump where evrything seems dumb and stupid and depressing...well, for me today is the complete opposite of that...Everything's awesome!
I want to go out and sit in the park and draw, or bust out my sidewalk chalk and decorate our sidewalk...I want to be out doing things today...YAAAY!!!

If you ever read Neil Gaiman comics and know how Death gets when she gets to be alive for a day--so happy and enjoying everything--then you'll know how I feel. I even have a top hat, just like Death! Woooo!
Thursday, May 22, 2003


Yes, yes, I'm supposed to be working on homework, but frankly, I needed a break.
This is very stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I have taken the liberty of making my OWN goddamn Homeland meter.

Bwaha. Take that.

Yes, a rubber duck is smarter than a moose.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003


Ok, I just posted a picture of it on the cam. This is my color homework. You can see the happy yellow dragon...he's a happy dragon, I have no problem with him. What you can't see are the many tiny fucking white dots which were my failed attempt at putting some stars in the background...this didn't work. At all. The sky sucks, the trees suck, I forgot to put legs on the red dragon...it's a fucking mess.

Again: Grr.
Monday, May 19, 2003

I can't paint!

I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!
I can't paint!!!!!!!

Jesus fucking Christ. I'll never be an artist.


L B...

Well, I'm at my design class, and I forgot my zip disk...d'oh!
Roman and Kami came over last night and we watched Cowboy Bebop, drank rootbeer, and lit off explosives. Good times.
In other news, I'm more Jedi than you, apparently.

:: how jedi are you? ::

That's really all for now. Oh, and I'm really wishin I drank some coffee earlier. feel like I'm about to fall over. GAAH!


Today's sunny and nice, and I'm really catching up on my homework...hooray!
We busted out the Legos a few days ago, and Chris has been having a BLAST with them...it's so cute, he's like a little kid! I built a bandit hideout, and he's been building all the old spaceships that he says he used to make as a kid...aaaah, nostalgia!

Dance, little island man, dance!
Sunday, May 18, 2003


Well, I went to this talk with Aysha (from my color class) tonight...had NO IDEA it was going to be so "Jesus" oriented. Argh. I just thought it was going to be this lady talking about her work in Africa taking in orphans and things like that...WRONG. It was revival, straight out of the south. Lots of shouting, and "praise Jesus!" and "Oohh lord!" and such. If that wasn't enough, Aysha and I had carpooled, so I felt rude to say "Hey, let's go home, this blows" and no other way to get home. Damn my polite demeanor! DAMN IIIITTTT!!!! Wanting to be nice and polite got me very uncomfortably stuck in a room with a bunch of wailing Christians for (and I'm serious) at least 5 hours. Most of the time it wasn't so bad...I could ignore it and look at my socks or just let my mind wander, but by the end, I was tired, hungry, sore from sitting on the floor, and to top it all off the woman said something about "healing homosexuals" and that totally pissed me off. Plus it made me start to wonder why the hell Aysha invited me and Stephanie, particularly since I remembered we'd been talking about bisexuality and how we dig chicks and guys equally in color class. Well, if she invited me to this thing because she thought I needed "saving" she's got another thing coming. I'm not an athiest. I believe in god, but I believe in a god (not male or female, mind you) who loves everyone no matter what they believe, and doesn't care what gender someone is, as long as you love people...because I think god is in everything, so you should try to love everyone (though not always in a "relationship" sort of way). To me, god is sort of an innate, creative, loving energy. I don't believe in Jesus, except that maybe he was this guy who was more connected to god than most people, but hey, so was the Buddha. They both taught things that had truth in them. Personally, I don't believe in hell...heaven and hell just seem like ways for Christianity to say "be good, and do what we say, and we'll reward you, but if you don't...here's this scary boogeyman that'll punish you forever!"

Ok, enough "god" ranting from me. I know y'all don't want to hear this crap. Believe what you want, but let other people believe what they want. It's all good.
Saturday, May 17, 2003


Well today I'm going with Aysha to this talk thingy, which should be interesting. Seems like pretty much all I've done the past few days is play Neverwinter...oh, and my hard drive hates me. And I got my stitches out today! Yay! The lady who took them out couldn't find sharp enough scissors, so it took awhile, but I think she was kind of amazed that I didn't whine about it hurting. Good for me. We watched some Lain last night, and Chris figured out a chunk of the story that I hadn't figured out before o_O I figured out the connection between KIDS and Eiri, but hadn't figured out who/what Lain was...Chris has a good theory.

Still have no idea what was up with the girl and the train though. Or that fucked up little alien thing! What the fuck is up with that???
Friday, May 16, 2003


Bored...sleepy...taking some quizzes, then I'm going to go to JoAnne's and buy fabric... wasn't feeling very social today, which I feel bad about, because I don't want Stephanie to feel like I was ignoring her... :( I'm sorry Stufey, I guess I'm just feeling quiet today...maybe we can do something this weekend?

Comments on quizzes are after them, in bold

Strawberry Pocky! You're energetic and you probably bounce around a lot. You're also a bit naive, and you probably fall in love easily.

What Kind of Pocky are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Pink! Yay! I think this one's right.

You're Perfect ^^
You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yeah, right.

Inferiority - You're Kati's fear that nothing she ever does is right. You probably hate yourself more than any other person, and probably often justify that belief by quoting others who have put you down. You sometimes argue with people that compliment you, telling them that they are wrong. Or you become angry because you feel as if you're being mocked or pitied. Strangely enough, this sense of inferiority often comes with a strong sense of pride, and you hate to be the subject of others' pity or charity. You often feel as if you're being made fun of, and in social situations you're usually quiet for fear of saying or doing something stupid. Most times you are kind to everyone except yourself, and the latter is rarely noticed by the casual observer. You're probably a doormat for other people, or you berate yourself even when others don't. You probably have something along the lines of an Inferiority Complex.

Which of Kati's Fears are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
This one's frighteningly correct... o_O

Faerie wings now! Yay!
Thursday, May 15, 2003


Gaaaah, I'm tired. And I didn't even do very much today. Screw homework, I'm going to go take a bath and see if that livens me up any.

I know, I haven't updated the cam in awhile. I'll do it later. Now is happy bubble bath time.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003


Well I just wrote a big chunk of a post that was basically me going off on this long philosophical tangent, but then I realized that it didn't make any sense at all. So I'll work on it and post it up when it's a bit less muddled.

(Yes, it involves the I Ching).
Tuesday, May 13, 2003


And now it's today, and I should still be doing homework. But I'm not! MUAHAHA!

In other news: I'm Satan! Bet you never even guessed.

Dear god, I have class tomorrow.

Quiz thingy

Midnight - You are a deep thinker, always searching
for answers and never quite at home. You are
very contemplative, and enjoy being alone with
your thoughts.

When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I should be working!
Monday, May 12, 2003


Well, ditching class today because I don't have all my work done...at least, not to the point I'd be happy with turning it in. The pictures are pitiful. Hopefully Daley won't mind me turning it in a bit late ^_^;;

I think today is going to be super-mega-catch-up-on-homework day. Because I need it. I have a fiction paper due tomorrow and a color project due Thursday. Yep, I need to catch up. Oh, and I have stuff to read for fiction, too. Argh.

Mmmm...coffee...giver of life...

Poke, poke...

Tried to blog last night, but blogger refused to work properly...I think the site was down for maintenance.

I hate burdening other people with my stupid fucking problems. I'm seriously considering starting another blog simply for the purpose of ranting about boys and my stupid, stupid confusion thereof. Too many people read this (case in point: how do you think Chris clued in on me being confused in the first place?).

Concerning all that: I think I'm just going to try to ignore my stupid confusey feelings. "What? What feelings? I don't like anyone, I have Chris! La, la, la."
Things will work themselves out, I'm sure. Because, come on, what the hell am I thinking?

"keep it locked up inside
don't talk about it
talk about the weather..."

-Dave Matthews Band
Saturday, May 10, 2003


Well, maybe I don't want humans to become extinct but I do think we should cut down our population by a lot.

Good times.
Friday, May 09, 2003

Come out, Mr. Sunshine!

Well, I'm feeling a lot better today, so I'm not even going to get into What Happened On Tuesday except to say that it was bad, very bad. They put me on some "mood stabilizers" (something called zyprexa)...I took them one day but Chris and I agreed that all they did was make me extremely groggy and listless. As for me and Chris, I think we worked everything out, so that's good...I still care about that other person very much (though they're still clueless, by the way), but I know Chris is right for me, and I feel really happy to be with him again. I know it's going to take Chris awhile to get over being scared that I'll leave him again though.
In other news...let's see...my mother doesn't understand me, I have a fiction paper that's very, very late that I haven't even started on, another color project due on Thursday, and a project due Monday that I don't understand. Nyargh. I'm going to ignore all that for a bit though and spend today cleaning house, because it really needs it, and I'm in the mood to do it. Yay!
Now...look at the giraffe! Silly giraffe!

"...and all your weight, it falls on me
it falls on me"
-Collective Soul


Update coming when I feel like it. Specifically, when I quit feeling so damn groggy.

Can you feel the drama? It's filling up the whole fucking room. Oy.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Well, that was painful.

Well, I ditched color today, partly because I have a fiction paper due tonight that I completely forgot about (and could have finished over the weekend, had I remembered) and partly because...
Chris ended up reading my blog last night...needless to say, we didn't get much sleep, and there was lots of crying, on both parts. Bad, bad, very bad. Yes, I like someone else. Yes, Chris clued in on this, even though the person I like hasn't yet (I don't think). I hurt all over. I'm such a horrible, horrible girlfriend. Why do I get myself into these things? Why can't I just ignore it? No one wants a psycho like me anyway, and Chris is a good match because we both have so much in common...why can't I just be content, already?

...Chris is convinced I'm going to leave him.

I can't leave him...I could never do that to him again.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003

For the record, the quote at the end today describes perfectly how I'm feeling.

Current letter to God

WHY? Why does everything have to be so difficult? And what do I do about it? I can't make a decision here...I just can't. Am I supposed to ignore it, and do nothing? Or do I throw everything away? I refuse to repeat the whole "Stephen" incident.
...what the hell do I do? I have absolutely no frame of reference for these kinds of things.

I just wish I knew what to do. Or at least had someone to talk to about everything. I really miss Bend and Boise sometimes...I miss Chipmunk and Haley and my friend Jenguin.

I'm so confused.


"She gets mad
And she starts to cry
She takes a swing but she can't hit
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know...
What else to do about it"

- Jane's Addiction (Jane Says)
Monday, May 05, 2003

Screw you, humanity.

I hate being human sometimes. I hate things being complicated, I hate wondering and worrying about how other people see me. I hate how dumb and hateful people can be sometimes, and how cruel we can be to each other (see: war, hatred, bigotry, etc.). I want to be a cat. Cats have it much easier. Cats never care what anyone else thinks. The toughest decision a cat has to make is "Should I stalk that bird, or lay here in the sunshine some more?". I want pointy ears and whiskers. I want to drink milk and sleep on the warm laundry. I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Human.

Sunday, May 04, 2003


This is a mighty cool link. I wany very very much to go to Sedona now. Brian Froud is going to be there. BRIAN FROUD, damnit! Brian "I can draw fucking awesome fairies way better than you ever could" Froud. ...but it's soon, and how the hell would I get to Sedona? *sad*

Had a fabulous LAN party at Stephanie's boyfriend's (Jaime's) house. We HAVE to do that again, sometime, Stufey! It was cool! It was kind of funny though...a whole other party showed up and people were hanging out and being drunk...wish I could have joined them, but I had to drive. Stupid driving! Anyway, we'll have to go drinking sometime...Stephanie kind of reminds me of my friend Chipmunk (who's in AZ this year) when she's drunk...hyper and giggly and cool. I think it's be a lot of fun. I tend to bounce off the walls if I'm in a good mood when I drink...other times it's not so good, so I have to be careful about how I'm feeling when I drink, so I don't go psycho and blubber all over anyone...I'm such a pansy. God.

In other news, I'm still an airhead. Oh yeah, a self-centered airhead. Well, there you go.

"I don't need to walk around in circles
walk around in circles
walk around in circles
walk around in circles"
-Soul Coughing

Saturday, May 03, 2003


Catching up on friends' blogs today (two, specifically) and found myself a bit bemused/confused/frustrated. Keep in mind that I am not a confrontational person.

First of all, I have just made up a word which I think ought to be added to the English language:
bubblified. n.
1. Someone who stays within their own sphere of reference (their own world, circle of friends, etc.) and makes no effort to broaden their horizons or change that sphere of reference. Ex. "High-school students can be so bubblified."
This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it's very difficult for me to meet someone who seems completely apathetic and bored by everything in the world around them. I have an innate curiosity about some things...games, anime, literature, poetry, philosophy...some people are interested in cars. I'm not, but if I'm on the bus and some guy starts talking to me about cars, and I can see that it really interests him, I'll listen. That's how I am. I like it when people get enthusiastic about something they really care about...even religious people, because I know it will at least lead to an interesting discussion or debate. But to find someone who seems to be interested in nothing larger than themselves and their "bubble" or the people/things that immediately surround them...even if I think they're a very nice person, (not to mention cute) can be very frustrating for me.

As for the second blog:
"I seem to have annoyed a girl yesterday/ this morning by refusing a car ride of four blocks. I should have been nicer, but it was only four blocks!"
Silly boy! I wasn't annoyed, I was more hurt...argh. Can't you figure out what it means when a girl tries to be nice to you, or pokes you all the time? Or insists on playing Unreal, or doing something (anything) all the time so she doesn't say something dumb???

It's such a nice day out that I really, really really wished I hadn't flipped out so much on Sunday. I hate long sleeves. I want to play in the sunshine, damnit!
I know, I shouldn't be whining, it's my own damn fault. I'm so stupid sometimes... *winces* like last night. Argh. Okay, let's not think about that right now.

*bangs head against nearest wall*
Friday, May 02, 2003

So what's up with that comic thing?

Today was cool...went to color class, then decided to stay and watch this art movie for extra credit...Yay, extra credit!
Anyway, that gave me about half an hour to kill, so I stopped by and chatted with Natalie Daley, my "Graphic Arts for Writers" teacher. She is SOOOOO cool! She still remnds me of Susan, my ninth grade teacher, but not as scary. Very intelligent, very cool. Maybe her reminding me of Susan explains why I want to impress her so much... maybe I want to make up for never feeling like I was living up to what Susan expected of me...or maybe I should just quit trying to analyze myself.
It's weird though...why do I feel like I have to impress some people, and not others? Oh well.
I've been thinking about the comic I want to do...the one with Cthulu. I think I have a lot of the main story sketched out, which is cool...the plot has a few holes though, which I'm working on and will probably enlist Chris's help to fix. Looking good though. I get to address all kinds of fun stuff, and I'm even incorporating some stuff from Lain and such (Of course! How could I not?). Stay tuned, folks!

Yeah, right. Like I'd actually be productive. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!
Thursday, May 01, 2003



Cam pops up.

Feeling: Cranky.
Eating: Scone thing.
Reading: "God-Emperor of Dune" by Frank Herbert
Listening to: My Digital Illustration teacher (Mr. Thompson)
Playing: Nothing
Arch-nemesis: Mornings
Currently Preferring: Computers over PEOPLE.
craving: Salad & Coffee

Fight Club
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