Satan: Part of a complete breakfast!

Katie's Comments:

If you're a fundamentalist Christian and though "Harry Potter" was evil and corrupting the minds of our children, then you probably don't want to read this, because obviously this is a cereal for pagans and devil worshippers. I mean, just look at the title! "Marshmallow Magic"? Magic is the devil's work! Just look at all those occult symbols on those childrens' robes! Like...stars and...swirls and things! They're obviously under the pay of Satan! Not only that, but if you accidentally spill the cereal, as we did, you'll find it spells the name of the DEVIL HIMSELF! Beware!

Chris's Comments:

Oh, heavily shall fall the Wrath of The Lord on the shoulders of the sinners who corrupt the minds of our children with their tasty devil-worshiping cereal (part of this complete breakfast)! Yea, there are bright colors and enticing shapes, but are such things worth the price of YOUR ETERNAL SOUL, DAMNED TO HELL FOR ALL TIME? "Marshmallow Magic" Indeed! There is no magic but the trickery of the devil! The devil I say!

Look at this cereal bag, with it's wide-eyed children and their arcane symbols? On the cover itself are they flaunting their sin, engaging in some vile ritual to their dark master for all to see! Is this what you want your child to see, when they walk down the cereal aisle? Innocent eyes drawn by bright colors to PAGAN DEVIL WORSHIPERS? How would you like to see them crunching that cereal in their little mouths, staring at pictures of SATANIC RITUALS while they eat their breakfast?

No, good Christians, we cannot stand for this! In the aisles of a store NEAR YOU, there lies this vile filth. Sugary treats designed to lure your children into complacency, filled with marshmallows in occult shapes like "squares" and "triangles". Is that what you want your children to eat, GEOMETRY? Geometry with is part of MATHEMATICS, which leads to SCIENCE which teaches EVOLUTION AND HERESY AND DEVIL WORSHIP?

I could not believe the very eyes God gave me when I ripped open the package to stomp on it's despicable contents in the middle of the aisle, spilling it's contents on the floor and revealing THE NAME OF IT"S DARK MASTER! Truly there can be no doubt to the evil inherent in this cereal, and truly we cannot stand by while this CORRUPTS THE MIND OF OUR CHILDREN! Burn it I say! Find the factory that churns out this filth, and BURN IT TO THE GROUND! In the name of the Lord, crush their machines and burn their offices so that our children are safe. For the sake of our children, BURN IT, BURN IT, BURN IT ALL!